Posted by: drewbray | October 18, 2008

Tim, the cube mate. #1

This will be the first of several posts surrounding the sheer awesomeness that is - Tim, my office cube mate. 

Unfortunately, I don’t think any description of him or his personality will do any justice, so I’ll have to rely on the reader’s interpretation of these brief, but potently dazzling, conversations. 

Please be advised: none of the views expressed in the conversations to follow are condoned, celebrated (well, maybe a few), or endorsed by “dadsandthings”.  But they are friekin funny!

Without further adieu or disclaiming, here is the first captured dialogue from Tim, the cube mate:

tim: “if you want awesome long hair, you have to put up with looking like a freakshow for awhile.”
drew: (head turning from computer towards tim), “what?”
tim: “what do you think rod stewart was doing all that time?”
drew: “what?”
tim: “he took one for the team man!” 
drew: (not sure what’s happening)
tim: “and the ladies can barely even walk across the street, they’re so, like, ‘dude, how hot is rod stewart?’”

1 Comment

Posted in Being a Hunter | Tags:

Posted by: chadhali | October 13, 2008

TEN 10 X

*sap warning*:  Please be advised that parts of this blog are very sappy.  I apologize, but I simply can’t help it.  I’m a cheeseball.  If you have an aversion to sap-ness, please abort now.

My wife and I just celebrated our 10-year anniversary.  Nice.  Here are 10 things/memories I have loved, in no particular order.  And no, this isn’t my TOP ten.  Even I wouldn’t put you through that.  It would be worse than the notebook.

ten muffins!

1)  The first time I saw her.  She was leading an orientation team at USD.  I saw her across the grass and I was finished.  Most beautiful thing I had ever seen.  I told you to abort.

2)  Playoffs in Cape Cod. On our honeymoon, we watched my favorite team in the baseball playoffs while sharing cool-ones and fish and chips in a pub.  TWO NIGHTS IN A ROW.  I had clearly won the lotto of matrimony.  side note:  The Braves tore my heart out.  I’m still not ok.

3)  Jenn asking me out on our first date***. Yup.  She asked me out first.  Here’s exactly how it went down:  JENN - “Do you have plans tonight?”    CHAD - “Nope”    JENN - “Now you do.”    CHAD’S MIND - “I rule”

***Jenn is unwavering in her claim that she didn’t think this was a date…that she “didn’t see me like that yet”.  Right.  She was hooked I tell you.

4)  Opening night of Songs For A New World. Jenn is an incredibly gifted singer.  She was in a musical about 3 years ago after laying it down for about 4 years to be a Momma.  One of the best nights of my life.

5)  Madeline and Grant. Being parents together…nothing like it.  Madeline’s hair in the A.M…nothing quite like that either.

6)  The card. I had worked really hard on a project for a matter of months…something that meant a great deal to me.  At the end of it Jenn gave me a card that let me know how proud she was of me.  Right card, right time.

7)  Giving Jenn the keys to her dreamhouse. This is a lie.  Houses in Orange County are like, 12 million dollars or something.  I only make 2.

8)  The Last Five Years. That’s actually the title of a play by a guy named Jason Robert Brown.  We love going to theatre together, and this particular night and show were just set apart.  Best date ever.

9)  Laughing. We share the same brain when it comes to our sense of humor.  That, and I’m pretty funny.

10)  Phone calls. Why is it that when you’re first dating you can talk on the phone for 14 hours in a row?  What on earth were we talking about?  Geez.

Ok…that’s it.  Happy 10 years Jenn.

Thanks for asking me out.  :)

7 Comments

Posted in Being a Husband | Tags: , ,

Posted by: drewbray | October 8, 2008

“Daddy and Me” Night

I could almost just leave it at that.  The title alone should paint the picture.

Logan has been giddy for the past few weeks, knowing that this night was approaching.  I, too, was really looking forward to it.  A date.  Just Logan and me.

We get to the school, all us dads in our mini vans, and walk our daughters or sons in hand up to meet the teachers.  Immediately, Logan makes sure I know that she knows the names of her little buddies.  She calls for them and looks at me while she’s doing it, with a smile that says “look papa, I have all these friends!”.

We are then put into different groups and shuffled around to various stations of activities.  Bells would ring and we would move to the next station etc etc.

At first when we got there I was taking notice of the other dads.  Wondering what they did for a living.  If this was their only kid.  Did they look like athletes?  Could I beat them in an all out sprint - like right then?  If their wives dressed them or if they chose that style on their own.  Seriously - all these ridiculous passing thoughts.  Will I ever be free from those faint competitive insecurities?  Perhaps not.  But soon they subsided.

It was all about Logan.  Not about the recent stock market volatility or the presidential debate that was going on right then or what the plans are for this weekend.  Just Logan.  Watching her perform these little activities with dainty and deliberate precision.  Watching her eat her ice cream treat with the focus of a bomb dismantler.   She is amazing.

People are strange when you’re a stranger.  But their distinct beauty and profound uniqueness is available to you if you just pay some sincere attention.   Oh that I would only remember to practice this with the ones I love the most.  You’d think it be easy.  But it’s always a choice.

4 Comments

Posted in Being a Dad | Tags: , ,

Posted by: chadhali | October 6, 2008

Man Vs. Irvine

If you were to stop me at any time during a normal day and ask to see the contents of my workbag, you would be happy to find a very small pocketknife (explained later) and a flint – used to start fires.

My workbag is a Swiss Army computer bag.

wilderness pack

THE WILDERNESS PACK

Very hefty and durable with many useful pockets. There are places on the straps that are clearly used to store bullets of some kind.

Is any of this necessary? Well, some would say no. Probably because I work at a church and I live in Irvine, California. I say yes. Yes indeed.

The knife and the smallness of it are a different story. Here’s the deal…

We were going camping with a couple of friends for two nights. My wife asked me to go to the store to get firesticks. That, my friends is very offensive. Firesticks are for people who can’t start a fire on their own. I don’t need firesticks. I told her I was heading to REI to pick them up. She knows me and wisely sent a pre-emptive strike against awesomeness by telling me not to buy anything else. I diplomatically bargained by saying “I wouldn’t be un-wise”. Nice. Those are the kind of guardrails I’m looking for.

I don’t go to REI very often. That’s a good thing because it is simply a wonderland. I want to buy all of it. I want to play with all of it.

The "gerber" knife

I head to the area where they sell the cheatsticks and just happen to spy a flint. A flint? That’s what Bear Grylls uses to start fires. Me too. I snatch up the flint, now with the full knowledge that I can save my family if I need to. Wait….you can only use a flint if you have a knife! So I’m now looking up and down the rows of knives and my mind is ticking. “Just how much can I get by with here? The bigger knife I get, the happier I will be. The bigger the knife, the more expensive…Uh oh…The more expensive, the more bummed she will be. Shoot. I eyeball one of the cheapest knives on the shelf. It’s a “Gerber” knife. Isn’t that a babyfood? Argh.

Nevertheless, I walk out of REI well prepared to kill something and roast it over a fire. I wasn’t “unwise” (mmm…) and the only extras I got were a flint and a knife.

the hidden things

After our camping trip I have wisely chosen to keep the knife and flint in my backpack, or wilderness pack - if you will. There are two reasons for this: One, there is a space MADE for this in the wilderness pack (see exhibit A) And two, I may need to start a fire someday.

I don’t know when or where, but I may. Could be at one of the many parks in Irvine….maybe at the Spectrum…who knows?

And when that time comes, I will clearly be ready.

p.b. (post blog - sweet)  It should be mentioned that the Gerber has been busy carving a very impressive walking stick/weapon of mass destruction.  So, you have that future post to look forward to…

8 Comments

Posted in Being a Guy | Tags: , , ,

Posted by: drewbray | September 30, 2008

1 action. 2 choices. Makes all the difference.

I read Seth Godin’s blog from time to time.  I find his insights to the business / marketing world are often transferable to daily living concepts.  Here’s one of his recent posts:

Get to vs. have to

How much of your day is spent doing things you have to do (as opposed to the things you get to do.)

In my experience, as people become successful and happier (the subset that are both) I find that the percentage shifts. These folks end up spending more and more time on the get to tasks.

You’d think that this happens because their success permits them to skip or delegate the have to tasks. And to some extent, this is true. But far more than that, these people redefine what they do all day. They view the tasks as opportunities instead of drudge work.

A simple redefinition transformed the quality of their day, and more important, the perception of their work.

Here’s a small example of how that could translate for me:  Let’s say it’s been a long day at work for me.  Let’s say it’s been a long day at home for Ali.  Let’s say, strictly as a hypothetical, that one quick remedy for me would be to nap it out on the couch for a half hour (or so).  Ali, being the queen of multi-tasking that she is, is getting ready to prep dinner.  The shorter people in the house love to crowd the queen as she moves to and fro in our little kitchen, making for a very non-optimal prep situation.

1 action.  2 choices.

I could choose to “get the kids out of my wife’s hair while she gets dinner ready” and scoot them around outside for a while.  As Seth said, and some could argue, it’s probably something I “have to” do, right?

I could also choose to squat down, look them both in the eyes, and say (with excitement) ”who wants to go for a bunny walk!”?  The answer of course being, “me, me! where are my kwocks?” (callen’s version of crocs shoes).

The simple act of choosing the second option would change the way I spend that time with the kids.  Maybe there would be less of me simply herding children around the green belt (while being annoyed at them for wasting time and walking slowly, as if there’s a rush to be somewhere) and more of me being stoked that i “get to” do this with my kids.  I can choose to be present with them in their little world as we look to see how many bunnies we can find (and chase) on our adventure.

1 action.  2 choices.

2 Comments

Posted in Being a Dad | Tags: ,

Posted by: chadhali | September 27, 2008

FANTASY LOVE

Most of my time these days is accounted for.  Wife, kids, work, training for the iron man….you know how it is.  But in the margin, in the extra moments of the day - I escape.  I escape to a world of shrewd competition,  powerful athletes, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat.

It’s the world of Fantasy Sports…

I play Fantasy football and baseball each and every season, and I’m sweet at it.  Believe it or not, I’m even in a Fantasy Golf league right now with my Mom, Dad, brother-in law and nephew.  I’m pummeling my Mom.

It will suck you in folks.  It will suck you in and never let go.  In my first mesmerizing season I felt I had found a warehouse full of turkish delight.  It’s a glorious warehouse.

If you play as well, then you’re pretty stoked right now.  You get it.  You understand the awesomeness of it all.  The trading, the draft, the smackboards…and Fantasy Cast.  Oh, Fantasy Cast - my friend, my Sunday morning companion.

You get the comraderie.  You get the athletic prowess.  And you get how fast you need to minimize the screen to hide from your wife.

If you don’t play, like Drew, then you’re just out.  You love to make comments.  You love to poke.  Well, we mock what we don’t understand, friends.  Side note: if Drew did play I would smoke him.

So play on Fantasy warriors, play on!  Enjoy those stolen moments at lunch or in the wee hours of laptopdom.

Play with confidence, play with pride….

8 Comments

Posted in Being a Guy | Tags: , ,

Posted by: drewbray | September 25, 2008

Why am I so enthralled by this video?

The first time I saw this video I was mesmerized and I couldn’t pin point why.

But, I think it’s a few things:

  • the layering of the music.  how it crescendos into this epic wall of sound toward the end.
  • the sheer genius choices of casting such beautiful and interesting looking children.
  • the fact that they’re on some ambiguous, yet irresistibly purposeful journey.
  • the expressions of peace, resolve, appetite for adventure, joy, commitment.
  • that it looks like the rugged west coast of Ireland or the Scottish highlands.  (maybe there’s a young william wallace in there somewhere!)
  • I want to jump off that cliff.

Anyone feel the same way?  What feelings does the video conjure up for you?

2 Comments

Posted in Being a Guy | Tags: ,

Posted by: drewbray | September 21, 2008

Where are MY cannonballs?

It’s been a chunky couple weeks for my daughter of 5.  She’s learning how to swim, surf, and ride her bike without training wheels.

Now Logan is not known for her thrill seeking, adrenaline charging, “i’ll try anything once”, attitude. She normally approaches the unknown with extreme caution and skepticism, and usually one of her parents close by. But this new sense of confidence all came from her recent conquering of swimming.

Ali and I had wanted to put her in swimming lessons for a while.  I always hated going to pool events because the only thing I’d be doing was hovering around like a freaked out mother hen making sure I (and everyone else) always knew where my kids were.   I just wanted Logan to know the basic survival skills.

She never even liked getting her head wet in the bath tub.  You accidentally got water in the ears or the eyes and it was game over!  So, naturally I wondered how the swimming lessons would go down.  Well it was unreal! Credit to the teacher, certainly.  He was an amazing combo of firmness and encouragement.  He really had it under control. But kudos also to Logan.  I knew all along that she was braver than she gave herself credit for. And since lessons ended earlier this week, she has been so charged.  Everyday we hit the pool to make sure the methods are sticking.  And are they ever!  The difference between the girl cannon-balling into the pool and swimming, unassisted, to the other side and the girl who needed you to use some special technique when rinsing her hair in the bath weeks before - absolute night and day.

This transformation in her makes me wonder how many things in my life I simply pass on because of some faux limits I’ve put on myself. What fears are in my way?  What are MY cannonballs…  What are the things that I am missing out on because I am not ready to take a chance?  And I know I’m not the only one who assumes that when this life ends for us, we’ll wish we had another go at some things that we’ll then realize we could have pulled off.  But what am I doing about it now?

What cannonballs are hiding around the corner for me?

The coach is English, obviously.  I reckon that must have made a difference.

1 Comment

Posted in Being a Dad | Tags: ,

Posted by: drewbray | September 14, 2008

the “ME” monster

I was at a work dinner last night.  Standard deal really.  Light, mostly safe, conversations about topics relevant to all present company.  Those are the rules at events like that.

ME

ME

Things were going well until somebody brought up the topic of traveling.  Then I started to get that feeling.  You may know this feeling.  It’s when the “me” monster starts to stir, almost as if it were provoked by some distant primal call.  And I know the symptoms all too well.  The attention I was paying the current story teller starts to diminish as the monster begins his rehearsal.  My eyes may even start drifting off somewhere else in order to give full license to the monster’s entrance.

After the current story teller finishes his tale of how he spent a few days on the island of Samos, near Turkey, the monster introduces himself.  And at first, it’s subtle but certain.  It went a little something like this: “Oh that’s cool (real sincere like), we (but really ME) did the Greek Isles too and then headed over to Turkey.  From there we hit up Budapest on our way back to southern Europe!”  It was just enough of a dazzling tale to throw the bait out there.  The hope being that someone would then ask to learn more of my amazing adventures abroad.  And that’s when it happened!  Someone actually asked the question, “So what other places have you been to in Europe?”.   Are you kidding me?  The monster has now doubled in size as it prepares for the main event - solicited and unrestricted self aggrandizement!

I hate the monster.

Brian Reagan, comedian, has a perfect routine about this.  Please check it out here!

No Comments yet...

Posted in Being a Guy | Tags:

Posted by: chadhali | August 16, 2008

running

My daughter is six-years old, going on 14. She loves to draw, laugh and ride bikes. Her favorite animal is a toucan and she has donated seven teeth to a toothfairy named “Starlight”. She is beautiful in the place it counts, and best of all – she still runs to me.

I see her after school, and she runs to me. Walking in from work…here she comes. Curly hair everywhere, legs flailing, crooked smile and all – she runs to me.

I know there is a day coming soon when that will stop. The run will turn to a walk. The smile might turn into a very calculated and cordial smirk. And all the reckless and unfiltered love that runs hard toward her Daddy might be swallowed down by approval, acceptance and cool.

As a Father and a person, I over-think things. I exhaust myself, and those around me by talking, analyzing and pondering. So, as an act of mercy (for you) and discipline (for me) I’m not going to figure out how to deal with this forthcoming transition in this here word document. Instead I simply want to remind and encourage us to breathe it in while we can. We are not guaranteed a single thing on this Earth, and neither are they.

So I walk into this new day eager to discover the small treasures we are given from hour to hour…the little things that truly fill the gaps in this“life to the full”. I will try to keep my eyes open to the here and now with no expectation of tomorrow. Because if I don’t –

she just might run right by.

2 Comments

Posted in Being a Dad | Tags: ,

Older Posts »

Categories